the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
