I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
