you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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