Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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