I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
