I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
