Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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