Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize