I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
