when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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