you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
