ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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