I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This baby is an asshole
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
