last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
