I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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