I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
