I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
