I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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