Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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