"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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