I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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