Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
