Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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