Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
