I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
