hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I smell stomach acid.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
