weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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