Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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