My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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