Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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