Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize