he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
