I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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