pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
When are your genitals available?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
