oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
