There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Someone shattered a urinal.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
