yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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