i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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