Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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