i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize