ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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