Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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