I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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