Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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