This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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