I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize