She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
