I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
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