On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
