Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My life is pants optional.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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