i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This baby is an asshole
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete