just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.