It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
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he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
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We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life