I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
