My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
