adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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