Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
