It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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