I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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