he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My bed smells like the plague
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