I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
this will be a night to untag.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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