tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
