Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
