Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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